Valentine’s Day is here again. I think of what that day has meant to me over the years…and then I’m in Mrs. Russell’s third grade classroom once again at the R.M. Bacon School and it’s 1952.
The milestones in a kid’s year are made of holidays – the big one is Christmas followed by Easter and then there are the minor ones – but most still have residual benefits - usually involving candy. Valentines’ Day for a third grader was a minor one for sure – but one of the few that also brought major worries. Getting ready for this day devoted to puppy love (the only kind of love known in elementary school) started a few days before the 14th.
The First Worry - Do I make my valentines and seem like a real cheapskate? Or do I get some from the 5 &10 store? I opt for a compromise: I would not use all of my allowance and just get the least expensive ones that came in a booklet. I just had to cut them out. Plus, I would ask for some of mom's envelopes to insure the confidentiality of this ritual.
The Second Worry - Who do I give them to? My mom suggested that I give everyone a card but I rejected that immediately. (I didn’t consider everyone a “friend”, especially Warren who called me “warthog”( I was a bit chubby but still offended by this). And so I spent an hour looking at the various cards and thinking about which should go to which friend. One could not send a mushy heart with an arrow through it to a guy; nor a baseball playing bear my secret crush. These were heavy decisions for a third grader and a miscue could affect the rest of my school year and beyond. After much thought I decided that Mary Jane would get a special one as She was the girl I liked this week. She was my imaginary "girlfriend” – but of course she didn’t know that she was! Nor would any girl ever know because of my fear that they would laugh when I revealed my secret. This changed several grades later. Ah, Mary Jane…pigtails like thick ropes; thick glasses, probably from eye strain doing countless math problems and klutzy well worn saddle shoes -she was a compulsive recess rope jumper. Yes, love at any age is blind. And for me MJ was perfect plus she helped me do my homework. I finished addressing each work of cartoon art and added what I believed was a very elegant touch – I taped a penny candy heart, with those faint hard to read messages, on each envelope. Be Mine?...True Love…Yours Truly…Hugs & Kisses. Not exactly my sentiment for everyone but nobody I knew ever “read” their candy, they just gobbled it.
Valentine's day dawned and I trudged to school with my valentine’s in a bag for safe keeping. The day dragged by because we had to wait until the last few minutes of class to celebrate. Mrs. Russell picked one of her “pets” to be the Mailgirl; Brenda always got the good jobs. She made her way up and down the aisles delivering our tokens of friendship. And our party began. We each got a pink cupcakes baked by Mrs. Russell. Before we left for home we opened our "mail". (Many years and a few loves later - I realize that even in third grade there was a “pecking order” forming.) We all looked and counted the number of cards each of us got. Some got only a few and they would be forever relegated to the sidelines and be the watchers of others rivaling in the joys of life. The “popular” kids had a pile of valentines on their desks. They were the few who everyone wanted, no, needed as their friend. To be those with more cards was what most of us would always yearn for as we grew up.
Valentine’s day in third grade, a taste of what love and life would bring to us all sooner or later – for some a life of joy and belonging and for others, just lonely nights and some regrets.
