A PORTABLE GIFT

Today, it seems everything is getting bigger - except cars which have become miniature station wagons.  Houses are massive.  Our carbon footprint is size 14 ½ - But I can remember when the trend was to develop smaller things - small and portable was mentioned on every ad.   And my smaller wish was in 7th grade.  I “needed”  a portable tape recorder.  “What for?” My mom asked.  I told her my idea was to create a lasting recorded history of life; mine, my friend’s and of course my family.  She gave me her look that said without words this wasn’t scoring big with her.  I continued to sell.  “I'm sure everyone will love to listen to it years from now!”  Same look, so, I added a bit of insurance. “This was the only thing I put on my Christmas List”.  Mom just laughed.  I added more, “If I got this new “portable” machine I would be unique in my circle of friends.  (A fact because in the 50’s having a tape recorder was a rarity outside of a working for the  local radio station.)   

I waited impatiently for Christmas morning to arrive.  When I made my dash into the living room under the tree was a very big box that had a gift card and red bow on the front OPEN ME FIRST!  I did and found a Webcor Portable Reel to Reel Professional Model tape recorder.  I was beside myself with joy and immediately I needed to get it working right to capture this morning for posterity.  I tried to lift it out of the carton but couldn’t budge it, neither could my mom.  My grandfather, who was the strongest guy I knew, picked it up with a grunt as my mother remarked, “Gee I didn’t think it was that heavy!”   Pop then added, “Margaret this has to weigh at least 40 pounds... where did you get this thing?”  My mother replied, “I didn’t, Santa brought it from Sears & Roebucks.  When he put it under the tree I thought that it was the packing which made it so heavy but…(her voice faded away)

That day I produced events to record - me and mom singing carols...interviewing my grandmother about her Christmases when she was growing up…a Christmas Special TV show that I intended to  listen to again and again.  But as the new year unfolded… I never did.  And after a week of vacation the spirit of the holiday faded and I went back to school and my amazing high fidelity machine was went to my bedroom...like many things in life, it quickly lost its novelty and just collected dust under my bed.  That winter I taped only one friend who visited me to see what I got from Santa - he had very little to say.

Years later, I wondered how my mom felt about this outcome.  Did it disappoint her that I forgot about this expensive toy?  I felt bad when my grandmother told me what it had cost her - almost a week’s pay to buy “on time” as they said then - it would take her several months to pay it off.  For years afterward my Mom kept those few hours of tape in her bureau drawer until I left home after college to live in my own place.  She had never heard any of them.   And I know she reluctantly let them go to the city dump on the outskirts of town and she gave he recorder to her minister so he could record his sermons for shut-ins.   

Today, I wonder if someday many centuries in the future,  archaeologists will be digging up the relics of a place once inhabited by a the people called Millvillians...and they will uncover the echoes of a long ago Christmas Day made by a long gone boy...recorded for posterity on an ancient primitive device called a portable tape recorder.