IT WAS MAGIC

For a Father’s Day gift my kids took me to see David Blaine Live, the TV magician and it was more astounding and somewhat terrifying seeing this performer in person…on the drive home I thought about my early days as a kid-magician…and I was watching another magician is on the Ed Sullivan Show. I love them. And not like most of my friends who always yelled, “It’s in your other hand”, or something like that!  I just loved to pretend it was real magic – much more fun than looking behind the curtain and seeing that the Wizard of Oz was just an old guy. 

For me, my very brief career started at the great toy store on the Ocean City Boardwalk when I discovered far in its recesses a small magic counter where the owner (the worst comb-over ever) would demonstrate the trick – if you bought it.  I think he liked performing more than selling toys.  On our many summer trips there I didn’t buy typical shore souvenirs, I started to fill an old suitcase with my magical “apparatus” as it was called in the trade.  My first effect (a term used by us pros rather than trick) was the Vase & Ball.  I practiced making the small ball disappear, right before one’s eyes, in front of my mom’s big mirror until she said, “go outside and play Calvin, it’s beautiful out.”  She was always concerned that I would waste a summer day – warning that I would wish for one in the dreary winter of Bacon School.

One night at the dinner table my delight, my dad told me he learned that there was a former professional magician who worked at his plant and he would sponsor me to become a member of the International Brotherhood of Magicians organization which had a new chapter starting up in Millville and take me to his next conclave of “real” magi in Philadelphia to meet some of the pros

Several Saturdays after, I traveled with Mr. M to a city hotel as his guest at the Philadelphia IBM chapter’s annual meeting.  All the way there he regaled me with tales of his magical adventures of years ago when his hobby became a high paying part time endeavor.  The morning was spent touring a room filled dealers of professional magic showing their wares – not the boardwalk kid stuff but “real” pro magic.  I could believer I was seeing how many of the “tricks” worked that I had seen on TV.  The afternoon session ended the convention with a stage show by members from all over performing their newest tricks (which I learned that day was called an “effect”) – I was absolutely mesmerized (also a new word I learned that day).

After a great show, as I had brought all my life’s savings, I bought a real stage effect – The Square Circle which was a large metal tube decorated with Chinese characters that was inside a box, both pieces were shown to be empty and then after saying ABRA-CA-DABRA of course – they overflowed with whatever the magician wanted to appear from them,  flowers, silks, even a live rabbit. This effect was $15 which was a fortune to me and the most I ever spent on anything.   I brought home catalogs from all the magic suppliers and poured over them for days.   And from that day on, I spent my birthday, good grades rewards, Christmas cash and lawn mowing income on “real magic.”

After months of practice with Al who lent me a bunch of his stuff, I considered myself ready to go pro.  And so did Al.  He gave me one of his usual  “gigs” –  I was booked as the entertainment for the Millville Cub Scout Blue & Gold Dinner – and was getting paid!  One half hour for $20 bucks!   I practiced my act with Al and he coached me on my “patter” (the running commentary of mostly corny jokes). They were more than they seemed as they were actually to create  “mis-direction” - the essence of all magic was having the audience listen rather than pay attention to the magician's secret manipulations they were doing while they chatted.

The night arrived.  I was a mess of nerves.  A church dining hall was filled with blue uniforms.  And right after a sort of grey “roast beef” dinner, which my butterflies would not let me eat, Cub Master Jones introduced the evening’s entertainment – ME!   “ISZARD THE WIZARD”!!

I entered wearing a borrowed tux (which was much too big) courtesy of Al.  I bowed and began my act with shaking knees and a croak of hello.   My first effect was a very easy one, Vanishing Milk. I carefully poured half of a pitcher into a newspaper cone and then unfurled it with a big flourish and the liquid had turned into Confetti.  I got a smattering of applause, mainly courtesy of the parents.  Next, The Chinese Linking Rings…then The Cut and Restored Rope.  And as each trick “worked '' I became less nervous.  I was getting applause rather heckled by the few unbelievers in every crowd.  I even got a couple of “ah’s”.

Soon it was almost over and to my surprise I hadn’t fumbled once.  After thanking the scouts for their kind attention and taking a very hammy bow it was time for my big finish – The Square Circle, my first investment in my career and it was to be a surprise encore.  

With Mom’s advance funding I had loaded the canister with 100's Hershey's Kisses (my mom’s idea) and out of nowhere I was going to deliver a treat for the Cubs.  I showed the “empty” containers and then with a great flourish and then candy poured out and cascaded over my red magic table.  But to my unanticipated surprise before the first candy hit the floor the Scouts went totally wild.  Every kid rushed the stage.  Instead of a treat, I had created a riot of screaming kids, tripping, trampling, falling over their buddies – all trying to get a piece of candy as if they were made of gold. I was surrounded by grabbing, shouting, crying, fighting beasts whose  parents tried vainly to calm.  Scoutmaster Jones finally blew his whistle three times and the battle was over as quickly as it started.

      I made a fast exit off the stage avoiding the bruised, scraped and chocolate smeared Cubs who were being led out of the hall.  My debut was over.  As I packed my case the scout master returned and all he said was, “Here’s your pay…I hope you weren’t injured!”  My mom escorted me to our car, fearing I might be attacked for more candy.  She only said one thing on the way home, “Maybe we should change that ending next time?”  “Yeah,” I whispered.  I did many shows after that night – but never another Scout Dinner like this one and I learned something that lasted me a lifetime never make candy appear again.

Moral, no matter how small the value, getting something free can turn normal humans into predators more fierce than lions.