THE MALL OF MALLS

Most of my memories that float to the surface are from my early childhood – but every once in a while a delicious one pops up – that happened today while ordering Christmas gifts on-line.  I’ll never forget my first visit to a mall…and it wasn't near home.  Millville would not see a “mall” for a decade to come; in 1965 the only Mall I knew was on the Pall Mall pack! 

This adventure started when I began dating a “North Jersey” girl in college from a foreign land called Teaneck NJ.  Now this could be a suburb of Paris for all I knew because it was indeed over the big bridge from South Jersey, as they say.

Nancy invited me to come north for the weekend and go Christmas shopping at the malls on Route 4.  Being game just to be with her I immediately packed a small bag.  (Now until this invite shopping for me meant helping my Mom carry groceries from the A&P.   I would soon learn the true meaning of the term “shopping.”

We arrive in Teaneck on Friday evening – a town that didn’t look much different than Millville – except the homes were much closer together.  I could have fit three backyards here in my back yard.  This trip not only marked my mall introduction, but it was also a meet the parent’s occasion that made me sweat a bit.  Joe and Connie greeted us at their door with hugs.  And after we settled in and to my surprise Joe offered me a vodka martini – now this was so different from my rustic experience to date.  And it was just the beginning of the eye openers that were to come.  I would learn just how different North and South Jersey were and more than just 100 miles apart.

Saturday morn we went for bagels.  Bagel?  What’s a bagel I asked (really feeling like a bumpkin)?   Nan laughed and said, they Jewish and you are going to love them! 

When we entered Cohen’s Bagel shop I was taken aback.  It was filled wall to wall with customers.  Nan urged me to take a number!   “A number of what?” I replied now feeling really dumb.  She explained that’s how they knew who to wait on.  I was astounded.  In Millvile two ahead of me would be a crowd and I now had number 56 as they called 37.  Millville bakery folks always knew me – they needed no little paper numbers.  Life was crowded here for sure.

After bagels, lox and cream cheese – which I had to admit were very good but would take some getting used to, we left for the malls  a few miles away.  I have never seen so many cars in my life.

Route 4 was a thoroughfare girded on both sides by enormous parking lots surrounding warehouse size department stores – all the big names I had read about, Macy’s, Bamberger’s, Lord & Taylors – all familiar  except the one we pulled into – Alexander’s ! 

Now for a real surprise in the 500 car parking lot there was not a single open space. 

Cars slowly stalked behind shoppers leaving with their bags and pounced on their parking space as soon as it was vacated - as if it were a stake in a silver mine.  We cruised up and down row after row for ten minutes.  This was ridiculous in my opinion as I had never searched for a parking spot on High Street or even Landis Avenue ever – even at Christmas time.  Finally Nancy nosed into a spot just beating another shopper who tossed us a single digit salute.  Whew! Was all I could muster?

We entered the largest array of goods I had ever seen in one place beside browsing the Sear catalog. The jewelry counter alone was bigger than our W.T. Grants at home which was as close to a department store as Millville could get.  

Nancy was on a mission and knew exactly where she wanted to go.  I would need a map to shop here so I just gawked.  The place was packed and there was a din of mingled voices and sounds of ringing cash registers and an occasional PA announcement – “Would the owner of a Blue Ford…your lights are on…etc.

We repeated this routine from store to store, up one side of Route 4 and back – it took most of the day.  I carried bags and mumbled from time to time – Gee, Wow, and Duh.  Nancy bought stuff. 

On the drive home Sunday I pledged to myself to start reading the New York Times and Gentleman’s Quarterly in our college library – determined that I was going to be much more sophisticated and better dressed from that day forth.